Tag: Words That Encourage

Welcome to the Words That Encourage newsletter. I’d love your feedback – just hit reply! Today’s words are about how the best communities make space for learning to occur.

i) The wisdom of learning communities

True communities are learning communities. We learn how to live with each other. We learn how to speak kindly, when to listen closely, who to care for, and why we are made for connection. We grow and change thanks to the care of community. We discover ourselves as a fruit cut from the tree of belonging. We respond with gestures of love and care for other people, people just like us.

Teachers at their best make room for a learning community to emerge among students. In my own teaching, I invite each young person to grow, learn, and be changed by what they learn. I hope they will be:

• freed from a “grasping coldness” (poet Peter Steele SJ) to embrace this world in all its variety;

• moved from overwhelmed apathy to heartfelt responsibility for the earth;

• drawn out of self into a balanced engagement with friends and others alike.

Learning communities have wisdom inherent to how they go about things. At their best:

• questions are revered and answers are grounded in wonder;

• learners are invited to go deeper in their thinking, reflection and action;

• there is a freedom present with people not clinging too tightly to their own ideas;

• each person respects the learning and experience of all the others;

• leaders guide without getting in the way of each member’s journey.

And the learning never stops, or does it? The practice of learning requires that we remain vigilant about the intellectual laziness of a closed mind or fixed mindset. True learning empowers us to free ourselves from the prison of rigidity. It offers us the opportunity to recognise the tentacles of the unhelpful “I’m right, you’re wrong” accusation; and untangle our ego with good humour and grace.

All told, learning communities value each person’s dignity above all else, helping her to discover the world as good and life as worthy of her time. Because those two discoveries – that the world is good, and life is worthwhile – are solid ground on which we can flourish in time and place.

ii) Music of impassioned dialogue

I invite you to listen to La Bohème by the wonderful French cellist Gautier Capuçon in his 2023 album Destination Paris via YouTube, Spotify, or Apple Music. As played, the piece is an impassioned dialogue of cello with piano, dancing from note to note with sensuality and deep emotion. Well worth a listen, along with Capuçon’s 2020 album Emotions – which I’ve had on repeat for weeks now.

Have a great weekend,
James

Welcome to the Words That Encourage newsletter. This week’s words are Community, Justice, and Listening. Please forward to a friend, or click reply.

i) Community

Can I heed the cries of people suffering on the edge of my life, my city, my suburb? Do I have an open ear to listen to the pain of others? These questions inspire, but I admit to mute responses when I speak only for myself.

Again: we are simply not individuals, solitary atoms engaged in human-like endeavour, alone in the room of the self. We are human beings with skin who reach out to one another. We ask for help and we give it, together seeking more out of life. We are made for community.

ii) Justice

Our personal lives take on public dimensions. We can work together to build a more just world when we recognise each other as companions in the work of transformation.

Love is more likely to take shape in public when we look tenderly at the person before us. The soil of togetherness is where justice grows.

We can indeed heed the cries of suffering persons when we connect with a sense of solidarity; in our own ways we too have suffered. I can indeed listen to the pain of another person when I am being nourished by community. Care for this person does not rely solely on me.

iii) Listening

Settler Australians have a track record of imposing upon First Peoples over the last 235 years of life on the continent. Governments formed in our names have implemented cruel, negligent, and demeaning policies. Although for 65000 years First Peoples lived peaceably on this land, they now suffer according to every quality of life metric (health, education, life-expectancy and more).

First Peoples now want to be heard. A proposed change to the nation’s founding document (the 1901 Constitution) will be put to a compulsory vote on Saturday 14 October. The proposed change would establish an Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Voice to the national parliament and executive government. An elected advisory body, the Voice would compel people in power to listen to First Peoples regarding matters that affect their lives.

For some time now we have been invited to listen in a spirit of Dadirri (inner deep listening and quiet still awareness) by Miriam Rose Ungunmerr Baumann, a Daly River elder, artist and educator. Us settler Australians would do well to listen in that spirit. Watch Miriam Rose’s inspiring Dadirri reflection here.

Have a great weekend,
James

Welcome to the Words That Encourage newsletter, back after a long break. This week’s words are joy, gratefulness, and hope.

i) Joy

Joy sits at a deep place; it resides in the heart. To abide in joy, to live with joy, is a satisfaction that stays. Wherever we go in our days, if joy is nearby, we will be okay. In seasons of suffering and fear, joy’s signposts can prepare us to build a life on solid foundations. We can align our lives with our deepest purpose.

We want our lives to be a meeting place for our personal “deep gladness” and “the world’s deep hunger” (Frederick Buechner). This is the language of “vocation”, of call, of what will truly satisfy. We search until we find this treasure field where gladness and need overlap.

ii) Gratefulness

Joy emerges with ease when we make it our habit to remember concrete and specific details about good things received in a particular day.

Becoming aware of gifts in my experience will overflow into gratefulness. Our hearts soften and gladness spreads. Gratefulness is a reflective practice that turns the earth into a more friendly place.

A gratefulness practice is crucial if ever we want to be healed of our self-centredness and moved deeper into relationships. When we are grateful and open, we are ready to receive life (and each person) as gift. We can move forward with a hopeful attitude grounded in experience.

What are you most grateful for today?

iii) Hope

Icelandic instrumentalist Ólafur Arnalds composes original music that I’ve found helpful and hopeful. re:member begins as a gentle melody that serves as a welcome to a deep moment of reflection. As the emerging tune opens up, the beat slows to a stillness before being ignited with energy, enthusiasm and excitement after the second minute. The propulsion of the second half of the piece provides a sustaining power to enrich your day. Released in his 2018 re:member album, listen on YouTube, Spotify or Apple Music.

May joy, gratefulness and hope move within your heart, dear reader!

Have a great weekend.

Welcome to the 6th Words That Encourage newsletter. After a month’s break, this week’s words come to you from Ireland. I am loving the crisp air, the festive sounds, and the warm hospitality.

i) Space for Learning

I begin a great new teaching position when I return to Australia later this month. After a dry season, the river of life has bubbled up with fresh water. I am thrilled to take up this opportunity to equip young people for their lives.

As you know from these notes to you, I enjoy commending hope with my words. This practice gives me life. Being a credible teacher is an extension of this work.

The daily words of a teacher make space for student expression. Teachers create rooms for learning where the person undergoes gradual development (see Vygotsky). With the help of teacher scaffolding, each student can build their understanding.

At the heart of learning are experiences of relating, challenge, change, movement, and life. It is by reflecting on these experiences that a person may uncover their freedom to be Sally, Sarah, Séamus, or Stephen; and to take next steps.

In looking back with gratefulness and a desire to learn from what was, the person can look forward with confidence for what can be. We can breathe in the hope for renewal.

ii) The Bar Manager (a poem)

On my first night on the west coast of Ireland, I was very impressed or moved by the approach and skill of the bar manager, and wrote some lines of verse over the next day or so:

The mood of the bar is winning / a peaceful cheer is on tap / each person is enjoying their table / each seat is filled with a grin.

Our leader is bearded and centred / he’s quiet and cares for his team / with a listening heart made for service / he makes the place more human.

Scanning the bar for its people / viewing the needs of his own / he sees what needs to be seen / and does what needs to be done.

Those eyes have seen all sorts / those ears are prepared for trouble / he moves to the beat of his own / and sings of a longing within.

From “no you’re not welcome / after your behaviour last week” to removing / the shadow slinking beside women; / he knows these patrons, his kin.

An attentive mind and a steady spirit / he waits for each moment unfolding / responding to a situation uniquely / specific to the need is his way.

iii) Great Irish Music

I share with you a traditional Irish music session I heard in central Galway on Wednesday. View my recording on youtube here.

Have a special weekend,James

Welcome to the 5th Words That Encourage newsletter. This week’s words explore freedom and relationships through the metaphor of music. Please share this message with a friend if you enjoy reading it.

i) Freedom For A Person

A flowing instrumental solo played by a classical musician is a helpful metaphor for the human experience of freedom. The journey across notes, tempo, and dynamics reflects the path across thought, energy, and emotion.

There are passages in life when we are overcome with a virtuoso joy that must be proclaimed. There are other passages when we want to privately name our pain and fear. There are phases in life when we produce a loud fortissimo seeking to be heard, and others when we are pianissimo quiet seeking after stillness within and silence without.

The tempo of our lives can go between semibreve slow and rests while on a break to semi-quaver fast in the heat of the city’s battles. We also live through unsettled periods of staccato-like disconnection when we yearn for a transition back to smooth legato movements into peace and joy.

However, the metaphor of the classical musician and her instrumental solo only goes so far. So much of our freedom is lived out in relationships. Therefore the metaphor of a chamber group of musicians is more apt.

ii) It’s All About Relationships

Our personal freedom is enriched by relationships of mutual love and attention, mirroring the approach of string quartet players. In a quartet, the musicians are committed to mutual care for each other, as the violins join the viola and cello in shaping music together.

A journey across notes, tempo, and dynamics is here based on an attentive dialogue between musicians, instruments, and intentions. There is no attachment to the others, but rather a responsiveness which allows each one to be fully present in sharing their gift.

In Pachelbel’s Canon in D, the cello provides both a baseline and a steady beat, making space for the violins to sing to each other like a pair of larks at dawn. Each musician must attend to the others, listening closely for when to enter the song, when to harmonise the melody, and when to step into a rest beat as required.

Your freedom to pour your heart out is backed up by a steady listening friend with whom you resonate. Our freedom to collaborate in life is found in mutual exchange, harmonising beyond creative discord.

In and through playing together, reciprocity is at the heart of chamber music. Similarly, the mutuality of relating with each other is the site of discovering our greatest freedom.

iii) Chamber Music

Ralph Vaughan Williams’ The Lark Ascending played by the Australian Chamber Orchestra via YouTube (a live video recording), Spotify, or Apple Music. This singular piece of music will lift your spirit. Enjoy.

Have a great weekend,James

Welcome to the 4th Words That Encourage newsletter. This week we consider how conversations can move fresh hope, joy and generosity among us.

Thanks to all 44 subscribers for your participation and feedback so far. Please give feedback by hitting reply, or forward to a friend if you find the ideas helpful.

i) Empowering Conversations

An empowering conversation will lift and animate your spirit. This week I met with a friend of a friend over coffee. A wise mentor-like figure, “Sam” offered great quality of presence to me. Over 80 minutes, Sam drew out deep hopes and desires from a fresh point of view. I walked away with resolve for next steps.

Our conversation was satisfying because it involved a strong sense of mutuality:

• a commitment to listen to the other;

• a mutual sharing regarding what matters;

• a desire to understand what the other is saying;

• a safe space for openness of mind and heart;

• a natural respect for each other;

• a curiosity about the other – her/his experiences, insights and perspectives;

• an openness to the conversation’s creative flow as we create it together.

In the wisdom traditions, conversation is an important space of encounter which opens doors into transformation. Such encounters allow persons to gather a shared sense of life, and so enrich their imagination of what’s possible.

ii) Communal Transformation

In the big picture, cultures of conversation challenge an argue-first approach to our public life. When we look at news “debates”, too often powerful voices are given the victory. Similarly, power divides families, communities, societies against persons or groups considered less important.

In this context, community organising based social movements invite each volunteer to tell part of their story to others: an empowering narrative about what now compels their participation. People who have been heard take heart that their voice matters.

Generous listening and conversation equips us to be part of the slow transformation of our families, communities and societies. Such conversations plant seeds for a more generous, joyful and hope-filled world.

iii) Uplifting Music

Revival – Gregory Porter via YouTube, Spotify, or Apple Music. Gregory Porter is a Jazz musician with extraordinary heart, range and warmth. I first heard Porter after asking friends for music to play at my 30th birthday party. This song is a favourite: “You lift me higher, out of that fire, out of the flames. I lost the feeling, but you give me meaning, again”.

A Pile of Dust (Arr. Rimmer) – Jóhann Jóhannsson; sung by Voces8 via YouTube, Spotify, or Apple Music. Jóhann Jóhannsson was an Icelandic composer who wrote neo-classical music for film and life (read an account of his best music here).

Have a great weekend,James

Welcome to the third Words That Encourage newsletter – a space to inspire, to commend hope, and to refresh the spirit. Feedback is very helpful – please hit reply!

i) Streams and Deserts

Flexibility of mind is a stream of fresh clear running water.

Being flexible equips a person with ease in adapting to life situations. We can respond creatively. According to a 2013 paper in the Annual Review of Psychology, this “cognitive flexibility” means:

• I can see the situation from your point of view.

• I can adjust to changing priorities.

• I can admit I was wrong.

• I can consider saying yes to new or surprising opportunities.

• I can change perspectives to view a problem from a new angle, recognising that my first way of thinking will not solve it.

In contrast, rigidity of mind is an oppressive desert environment.

Rigidity brings unhelpful patterns of thought, feeling and action to our experience. Being rigid reduces our freedom because it limits the capacity for growth:

• In the disagreement, I must emerge the victor.

• In the team, I cannot listen to your ideas because mine are the best already.

• In the new situation, I talk about the good old ways.

• In my self-talk, I can admit I am always right.

• In working together, it’s my plan or no plan.

ii) Be Flexible and Flourish

To consider another image, rigid thinking places prison bars over the doors and windows of your life. Air flows, but you are always living inside. Meanwhile, a beautiful countryside of spacious freedom waits outside, inviting you to be more flexible.

I remember when …

I was rigidly opposed to a compelling opportunity. If the job was offered, I had decided on a strong no. To say yes would require major life changes and moving interstate. But I was not satisfied at my rigidity of mind and heart. I recognised it as a lack of openness to what could well be the best for me. I took time in silence to sift my true and deepest desires. When the job was offered, I said a hopeful yes. I received much from the experience.

By becoming aware of our rigid thinking we free ourselves from its power. We begin to understand why this seemingly ‘safe’ habit of mind holds us back. We can be flexible again.

May you walk in sun-drenched fields of freedom and flourishing. Let’s all meet there.

Question: Does this pattern of thinking help or hinder my flourishing?

iii) Compelling Music

Solo? Repeat! – Anne Müller via YouTube, Spotify, or Apple Music. Anne Müller is a cellist-composer from Germany. Her moving composition Solo? Repeat! holds extraordinary suspense, drama and energy throughout its 7 minutes. The sense of yearning created with soft string-crossings is compelling. Müller recommends her favourite cello music here.

Have a great weekend,James

Welcome to the second Words That Encourage newsletter, where I seek to “inspire with courage, spirit or hope”. I welcome your feedback – just hit reply.

i) Freedom In The Air

The felt sense of freedom is true-north for me. At important moments, the ‘inner experience’ of freedom acts as a radar for taking good decisions. This sense of freedom helps me to confront what is confining in my experience, and/or to seek a way through.

What areas of my life are confining me? Which choice(s) will lead me to a greater sense of freedom?

ii) Light After Tragedy

On reading last week’s bit about encouragement, a friend wrote to me about tragedy and how it can affect and change us.

After tragedy, light appears distant. We can almost lose our trust in life. We may fear that things will always be this bad.

Those who have been there before us say: “Take heart!” We must mourn. Using what courage we have, we can speak with trusted friends.

In time, we can begin to hope that life will get a bit better. After a season of very dark nights, the sun’s light may indeed signal dawn. May it warm you to your very bones.

Recommendation: Listen to Anderson Cooper and Stephen Colbert’s extraordinary podcast episode on being “grateful for grief”.

iii) Inspired Music

God Moving Over the Face of The Waters (Reprise) by Moby and Víkingur Ólafsson – listen via YouTube, Spotify, or Apple Music.

This compelling piece was composed by electronic artist Moby for his first album some 30 years ago. Now re-recorded with an orchestra, Moby speaks about the inspiration behind the piece in a moving video about what happened during a 3am composition session:

Icelandic pianist Víkingur Ólaffson helps the music soar. I love Ólaffson’s Bach album (especially the organ sonata), and yet everything he plays is beautiful. It’s well worth exploring all his albums when you can.

Have a great weekend,James

Welcome to the first Words That Encourage newsletter from me, James O’Brien. I’d love your feedback – just hit reply!

i) The Big Picture

Experience shapes us. Every season provides gifts and challenges. And so we grow, like a peace lily, seeking a happy combination of water, light and air.

The flowering lily is a helpful image for the fullness of life many people desire. Fullness hints at abundance. It really means a certain balance in the senses, being satisfied at the end of most days, and a joy that makes a home within us.

The flourishing person recognises a certain freshness to her experience. Underneath the appointments, conversations, messages, actions and silences of her day, she has one or two reasons for gratefulness. Sometimes more!

ii) All About Encouragement

‘Encouragement’ has been my key word for reflection for over two years. I hear it often when listening to Andy Hamilton, a Jesuit friend and writer, and I experience it through his way of relating with me and others.

The experience of ‘encouragement’ has unlocked rooms within me. Living through rolling world crises, looking at the person beside me and encouraging him has still been possible and worthwhile.

This wonderful word gives me a vision for building people up, and thus a way of being in community. It’s at the heart of life-giving encounters. And it opens a greater sense of joy in daily life.

Encouragement sustains my public and private sense of ‘hope’ in a changing world.

The word has a Christian history which grounds its meaning. The apostle Paul uses the Greek term paraklésis, translated as ‘encouragement’, in his list of different gifts given to people. John’s gospel has Jesus use this same paraklésis when introducing the Spirit of God.

Each day we face new choices. We can always find cause for encouragement or discouragement about our situation. Gratefulness helps us listen to the encouragement, and a balanced appraisal seems to follow.

The 13th century theologian Thomas Aquinas defined love as to seek the good of the other. If love is the set and our lives are the stage, we’re all in the chorus looking at each other, smiling, and letting the joy emerge in each voice. That’s what encouragement’s all about.

iii) Beautiful Music

I am enthralled by beautiful music. Today I invite you to listen to Winter in the Woods by Leaving Laurel via YouTube, Spotify, or Apple Music.

The piece begins with a pared-back and resonant piano solo that explores each chord note-by-note. The instrumental sound merges with a basic electronic beat and atmosphere.

Starting from a slow pace with a hint of deep feeling, the piece builds up towards heartfelt emotion. Midway through, the beat drops and the pace quickens. The song fills the listener with restlessness and an awareness of loss, before closing with quiet tones of hope.

Have a great weekend,James