Month: February 2023

Welcome to the 4th Words That Encourage newsletter. This week we consider how conversations can move fresh hope, joy and generosity among us.

Thanks to all 44 subscribers for your participation and feedback so far. Please give feedback by hitting reply, or forward to a friend if you find the ideas helpful.

i) Empowering Conversations

An empowering conversation will lift and animate your spirit. This week I met with a friend of a friend over coffee. A wise mentor-like figure, “Sam” offered great quality of presence to me. Over 80 minutes, Sam drew out deep hopes and desires from a fresh point of view. I walked away with resolve for next steps.

Our conversation was satisfying because it involved a strong sense of mutuality:

• a commitment to listen to the other;

• a mutual sharing regarding what matters;

• a desire to understand what the other is saying;

• a safe space for openness of mind and heart;

• a natural respect for each other;

• a curiosity about the other – her/his experiences, insights and perspectives;

• an openness to the conversation’s creative flow as we create it together.

In the wisdom traditions, conversation is an important space of encounter which opens doors into transformation. Such encounters allow persons to gather a shared sense of life, and so enrich their imagination of what’s possible.

ii) Communal Transformation

In the big picture, cultures of conversation challenge an argue-first approach to our public life. When we look at news “debates”, too often powerful voices are given the victory. Similarly, power divides families, communities, societies against persons or groups considered less important.

In this context, community organising based social movements invite each volunteer to tell part of their story to others: an empowering narrative about what now compels their participation. People who have been heard take heart that their voice matters.

Generous listening and conversation equips us to be part of the slow transformation of our families, communities and societies. Such conversations plant seeds for a more generous, joyful and hope-filled world.

iii) Uplifting Music

Revival – Gregory Porter via YouTube, Spotify, or Apple Music. Gregory Porter is a Jazz musician with extraordinary heart, range and warmth. I first heard Porter after asking friends for music to play at my 30th birthday party. This song is a favourite: “You lift me higher, out of that fire, out of the flames. I lost the feeling, but you give me meaning, again”.

A Pile of Dust (Arr. Rimmer) – Jóhann Jóhannsson; sung by Voces8 via YouTube, Spotify, or Apple Music. Jóhann Jóhannsson was an Icelandic composer who wrote neo-classical music for film and life (read an account of his best music here).

Have a great weekend,James

Welcome to the third Words That Encourage newsletter – a space to inspire, to commend hope, and to refresh the spirit. Feedback is very helpful – please hit reply!

i) Streams and Deserts

Flexibility of mind is a stream of fresh clear running water.

Being flexible equips a person with ease in adapting to life situations. We can respond creatively. According to a 2013 paper in the Annual Review of Psychology, this “cognitive flexibility” means:

• I can see the situation from your point of view.

• I can adjust to changing priorities.

• I can admit I was wrong.

• I can consider saying yes to new or surprising opportunities.

• I can change perspectives to view a problem from a new angle, recognising that my first way of thinking will not solve it.

In contrast, rigidity of mind is an oppressive desert environment.

Rigidity brings unhelpful patterns of thought, feeling and action to our experience. Being rigid reduces our freedom because it limits the capacity for growth:

• In the disagreement, I must emerge the victor.

• In the team, I cannot listen to your ideas because mine are the best already.

• In the new situation, I talk about the good old ways.

• In my self-talk, I can admit I am always right.

• In working together, it’s my plan or no plan.

ii) Be Flexible and Flourish

To consider another image, rigid thinking places prison bars over the doors and windows of your life. Air flows, but you are always living inside. Meanwhile, a beautiful countryside of spacious freedom waits outside, inviting you to be more flexible.

I remember when …

I was rigidly opposed to a compelling opportunity. If the job was offered, I had decided on a strong no. To say yes would require major life changes and moving interstate. But I was not satisfied at my rigidity of mind and heart. I recognised it as a lack of openness to what could well be the best for me. I took time in silence to sift my true and deepest desires. When the job was offered, I said a hopeful yes. I received much from the experience.

By becoming aware of our rigid thinking we free ourselves from its power. We begin to understand why this seemingly ‘safe’ habit of mind holds us back. We can be flexible again.

May you walk in sun-drenched fields of freedom and flourishing. Let’s all meet there.

Question: Does this pattern of thinking help or hinder my flourishing?

iii) Compelling Music

Solo? Repeat! – Anne Müller via YouTube, Spotify, or Apple Music. Anne Müller is a cellist-composer from Germany. Her moving composition Solo? Repeat! holds extraordinary suspense, drama and energy throughout its 7 minutes. The sense of yearning created with soft string-crossings is compelling. Müller recommends her favourite cello music here.

Have a great weekend,James

Welcome to the second Words That Encourage newsletter, where I seek to “inspire with courage, spirit or hope”. I welcome your feedback – just hit reply.

i) Freedom In The Air

The felt sense of freedom is true-north for me. At important moments, the ‘inner experience’ of freedom acts as a radar for taking good decisions. This sense of freedom helps me to confront what is confining in my experience, and/or to seek a way through.

What areas of my life are confining me? Which choice(s) will lead me to a greater sense of freedom?

ii) Light After Tragedy

On reading last week’s bit about encouragement, a friend wrote to me about tragedy and how it can affect and change us.

After tragedy, light appears distant. We can almost lose our trust in life. We may fear that things will always be this bad.

Those who have been there before us say: “Take heart!” We must mourn. Using what courage we have, we can speak with trusted friends.

In time, we can begin to hope that life will get a bit better. After a season of very dark nights, the sun’s light may indeed signal dawn. May it warm you to your very bones.

Recommendation: Listen to Anderson Cooper and Stephen Colbert’s extraordinary podcast episode on being “grateful for grief”.

iii) Inspired Music

God Moving Over the Face of The Waters (Reprise) by Moby and Víkingur Ólafsson – listen via YouTube, Spotify, or Apple Music.

This compelling piece was composed by electronic artist Moby for his first album some 30 years ago. Now re-recorded with an orchestra, Moby speaks about the inspiration behind the piece in a moving video about what happened during a 3am composition session:

Icelandic pianist Víkingur Ólaffson helps the music soar. I love Ólaffson’s Bach album (especially the organ sonata), and yet everything he plays is beautiful. It’s well worth exploring all his albums when you can.

Have a great weekend,James

Welcome to the first Words That Encourage newsletter from me, James O’Brien. I’d love your feedback – just hit reply!

i) The Big Picture

Experience shapes us. Every season provides gifts and challenges. And so we grow, like a peace lily, seeking a happy combination of water, light and air.

The flowering lily is a helpful image for the fullness of life many people desire. Fullness hints at abundance. It really means a certain balance in the senses, being satisfied at the end of most days, and a joy that makes a home within us.

The flourishing person recognises a certain freshness to her experience. Underneath the appointments, conversations, messages, actions and silences of her day, she has one or two reasons for gratefulness. Sometimes more!

ii) All About Encouragement

‘Encouragement’ has been my key word for reflection for over two years. I hear it often when listening to Andy Hamilton, a Jesuit friend and writer, and I experience it through his way of relating with me and others.

The experience of ‘encouragement’ has unlocked rooms within me. Living through rolling world crises, looking at the person beside me and encouraging him has still been possible and worthwhile.

This wonderful word gives me a vision for building people up, and thus a way of being in community. It’s at the heart of life-giving encounters. And it opens a greater sense of joy in daily life.

Encouragement sustains my public and private sense of ‘hope’ in a changing world.

The word has a Christian history which grounds its meaning. The apostle Paul uses the Greek term paraklésis, translated as ‘encouragement’, in his list of different gifts given to people. John’s gospel has Jesus use this same paraklésis when introducing the Spirit of God.

Each day we face new choices. We can always find cause for encouragement or discouragement about our situation. Gratefulness helps us listen to the encouragement, and a balanced appraisal seems to follow.

The 13th century theologian Thomas Aquinas defined love as to seek the good of the other. If love is the set and our lives are the stage, we’re all in the chorus looking at each other, smiling, and letting the joy emerge in each voice. That’s what encouragement’s all about.

iii) Beautiful Music

I am enthralled by beautiful music. Today I invite you to listen to Winter in the Woods by Leaving Laurel via YouTube, Spotify, or Apple Music.

The piece begins with a pared-back and resonant piano solo that explores each chord note-by-note. The instrumental sound merges with a basic electronic beat and atmosphere.

Starting from a slow pace with a hint of deep feeling, the piece builds up towards heartfelt emotion. Midway through, the beat drops and the pace quickens. The song fills the listener with restlessness and an awareness of loss, before closing with quiet tones of hope.

Have a great weekend,James